


Crocodile Tail

by Farla



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BTF, Gen, Pesterlog, Prostitution, Underage Innuendo, rbtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-06
Updated: 2011-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farla/pseuds/Farla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Something fucks up during Dave's manipulation of the stock market, and he is now in huge, huge, boonmint debt.</p><p><b>CUE PROSTITUTING HIMSELF</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	Crocodile Tail

TT: Strider.  
TG: hey lalonde  
TT: What are you doing?  
TG: just chillin  
TG: doing knight of time stuff  
TG: kicking the games ass  
TG: the usual  
TT: Because Jade just asked me to explain why you're in a furry suit.  
TG: fuck  
TT: I was hoping for a different explanation.  
TG: no not fucking  
TG: this is a fuck free zone ok  
TG: absolutely no interspecies action going on  
TT: …  
TG: look its just  
TG: nesting  
TG: that is totally different  
TT: Why are you in a red crocodile suit, Strider?  
TG: its not my fault im so awesome everyone wants a piece of me  
TG: fuck  
TG: not like that  
TT: Yes, I'm sure your relationships are full of romance and emotion, not simply meaningless sex acts.  
TG: im not having sex with my consorts  
TT: Unable to get it up? I hear they have pills for that.  
TG: fuck you lalonde i didn't make a sex joke every time you mentioned your turtle consorts  
TT: Yes, you did.  
TT: Also, I was never in a turtle suit doing what Jade claims was "a very silly dance" before an audience of three fourths my planet's population.  
TG: that was a fucking awesome dance ok  
TG: have you ever tried dancing in a crocodile suit  
TG: it takes mad skill  
TG: i fucking owned at that dance  
TT: What are you doing?  
TG: so you know about the stock market thing  
TT: Of course.  
TG: and i sent a bunch to that troll girl but i figured you can never have too much right  
TT: A truism.  
TG: look there was no way it could go wrong  
TT: Obviously.  
TG: so long story short im kind of in debt  
TG: only they wont let me anywhere near the stock exchange again  
TG: for some reason  
TG: they eat debters here  
TG: but they said theyd make a exception for the knight  
TG: because im the destined savior of the land  
TG: i just needed to do some work to pay it off  
TG: and since im in a hurry itd have to be something really lucrative  
TG: they said there was this one job that would let me pay everyone back quick  
TG: that was really easy to do  
TT: And then you accepted your inner furry and danced for your beloved anthromorphic fauna.  
TG: its not a fur suit crocodiles dont have fur  
TG: its like a crocodile skin suit  
TT: My mistake, you put on a suit made of their skin and danced. How delightfully macabre.  
TG: its not actual skin im just saying it doesnt have fur  
TG: so im not a furry  
TT: I'm glad to see you've kept your eye on what's really important in your experiences as a crocodile prostitute.  
TG: i told you im not fucking them  
TG: they just want me to do stuff  
TG: nesting stuff  
TG: and dancing  
TG: and eggs  
TG: and then that other stuff im not sure what exactly it was  
TT: I'm surprised a boy of your age in your circumstances never learned how reproduction works.  
TG: i know all about that shit  
TG: what would you know anyway you just know what jade told you  
TG: youre not my server player you cant see anything  
TT: You're currently sitting on a very fetching sand mound surrounded by those weird toys of yours.  
TG: i  
TG: no im not  
TG: fuck you jade just told you that didnt she  
TG: she is lying  
TT: I alchemized some items for this earlier as it happens.  
TT: You look very maternal, by the way.  
TG: youre still mad about the wizard fanfic thing arent you  
TT: What gave you that impression?  
TT: I assure you any videos I'm sending to Egbert are because it would simply be a tragedy for anyone to miss out on your masterful dancing.  
TG: you wouldnt  
TT: You're right, it would be quite cruel to only send it to Egbert and deprive our new friends of the chance to gaze awestruck upon your tail-shaking visage.  
TG: fuck


End file.
